Although I usually like to put a bit of lightness in my posts when the weekend comes—Which I’ve been doing for the past 6 years- in my sharing of an -Inspirational website, blog, 2 face book pages, and also ‘inspirational memoirs’ to my writing of a book…I believe we all have our own unique story, but life doesn’t always take us where we think we want to go….Especially when we learn ‘how to go with the natural flow of life!
As I had said in my ‘about me’ page with Patch (and you’ll see that I did not write a traditional profile) I had stated that you’ll get to know ‘all of me’ as we go along. It thrills my soul to be a non-conventional being, and I have to also say, no matter how professional we need to be-it makes me feel miserable to do conventional things— Really, I mean that!
But, I also feel- that if I can be myself-- it might inspire you to ‘JUST BE YOUSELF’ no matter what people may think!
"Whoever is happy will make others happy too. He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery." ~ Anne Frank
Those words might feel really painful if your life is filled with troubles and you don’t know how to feel happy ‘within’- especially if you believe that outer circumstances defines your own happiness.
If you happen to feel lots of misery inside- you would most likely take that quote above & chuck it as quickly as you can read it.
Remember, this famous quote came from a blind & deaf woman-who did succeed! She found her own happiness, and felt such a desire to share that happiness with others.
I’ve been spending a bit of time in self-discovery this morning, and kept asking myself “Tina will you ever know yourself? It’s been about 10 years now-of this rock hard stabbing pain in my heart to figure this out…And here I am at the age of 58 still wondering ‘who I am?’ Is that normal? When will I know? Will this self-exploration ever end?”
Well, actually it never really ends because we keep evolving—growing & learning new things every day! But, when we make room in our busy life to sit still and listen to this soft-voice inside ourselves, we will find that it can give us a simple answer to questions that we make so complicated.
Sometimes we just don’t see the wonderful characteristic of ‘courage & strength’ that many of us have. We need to feel secure enough with who we are, or (at least – who we think we are) But it can be a catch 22 . If we don’t know how couragious & strong we are-- as it being a wonderful trait in ourselves-- we may not recognise it in ourselves until we hear it from someone else-but we also have to believe it, after we hear it.
When I look back at my long lived career as a beauty professional, I remember my closest of clients/friends till this day, I know now that they were a loving family to me. They were also the ‘human angels’-that kept trying to give me this answer over & over again) I just couldn’t hear it.
But I can tell you for sure that the little voice inside or outside is always speaking to us. The reason being that I kept asking myself for over 6 years now---Why was I put here on this earth….What was my true purpose…And/or, what was I most passionate about? I asked these questions because I decided to take a huge leap of faith to step out of the traditional ‘comfort zone’ to deciding how I could create a new career change for myself. I must admit, I slipped back when I saw others that were closest to me—start to lose faith in me- and I allowed their opinion of what I chose to do- affect me-big time!
But I got back on the horse again & I’ve been taking a pretty exciting ride which has led me to- sit still once again, so this answer could become more clear just waiting for me to listen, to really get it!
I asked a very close friend of mine in Florida---This very question –Who do YOU think I am? What do you think I'm best at? It sounds so silly to me now:-)
But we humans- need so much re-assurance sometimes, right?
The answer was—I have such a deep belief in myself--A ‘faith’ also in the Universe- that I will always find the right solution to any challenge that comes my way.
But the thing is….That these so called challenges (which I like to call them today) I know they are always there to learn something but also to help us- to look at them in a different light. Others might say they were pretty bad situations...But for me, I would look at them -while seeing with ‘new eyes.’
Oh, I’m not saying that my first response to these situations was ever easy for me…No, I sometimes would throw tantrums of anger and such to be able to vent- to get it all out of me....Sometimes I just went to my old faithful friend--my journal--where I could easliy purge it on paper & be rid of it. But I've also realized that it is possible to take anger to the next level in a more productive way. It would actually take me to a place of motivating myself to keep moving forward. Yes, it encouraged me to give myself the self-love to believe in myself again.
The closet to me, were the ones that did get to witness my darkest moments of struggle--with all types of good & bad feelings. But, it took lots of practice of trial & error—sadness and happiness…. Sometimes it would last for a month -where depressions had set in, but then it shortened to days. Once I accumulated all the wonderful self-help tools I needed to look at my 'past story' differently, I also found that those days of sadness could be shortened into hours, where I could feel food again. But the greatest of accomplishments (as of today) is that I can now beat any bad/negative feelings- in a matter of minutes -which I’m truly grateful for!
But what does all this have to do with my profile, why & how I am here to inspire you?
It’s not until you can fully accept your past, look at it in a different light, and then figure out what makes you- YOU- using that gift to do what you love, is the way to your own inner happiness! It's like you’re taking your own unique story to a place of ~ Seeing with ‘new eyes.’
"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances." ~ Martha Washington
This quote (above & also the quote below) is one I have literally lived by—Not only as a business professional but also way back as a young child when I needed to find a way to be ‘happy’ even when dealing with a ‘bad situation’ concerning ‘surviving an unhappy childhood.’
See, if we can look at all our adversities –Seeing with New Eyes, that each & every circumstance-good or bad (whatever we choose to call them- at any given time) has molded us into the beautiful beings that we are today.
Let me give you a little example of how I look back on my childhood--In those early times- when I had called myself a ‘victim’ I felt that I could not change those circumstances (which I really couldn’t because it was my past-and I was also a child without my own choices) I later could see as a young adult, that I finally had choices (and I mean that literally) I found that those unhappy moments helped me to stay strong enough to discover new avenues to finding my inner joy---I remember my best moments when I was in nature all by myself!
It was a means of escape from my physical home that was always so filled with pain. So I somehow would sneak away to a nearby lake in Belmar (where I came each summer till the age 18) and if I remember correctly, I taught myself how to fish there.
Sitting still with my most peaceful thoughts in such beauty- seemed to take me away to a paradise. Where I would relax feeling quite calm and meditative —but it also had me feeling very creative, where I would use my vivid imagination to creative scenarios of where I’d rather be instead of returning home.
My entire past story has been leading me to write my “inspirational memiors’~Hoping to have it published soon, when the timing is just right!
Oh, I must mention this, I may not have caught any fish through these wonderful times of being at the lakes in nature -I just can’t remember that part- but I think maybe –just maybe-- I taught myself how to fish while being there ~ So that I could learn how to be happy for a lifetime--Hummm, could be :-)
“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime,” ~ Chinese Proverb
Hoping you will enjoy the nature shots of the two gorgeous lakes in Long Branch today (yes where I visit regularly) to take in the beauty, to walk, to write, to feel at peace with 'who I am'-right now.
Hey, tomorrow I might be someone else - and it's all ok! Hehe~
You decide every moment of every day: Who You Are & What You Believe In. You get a second chance every second...♥
And by the way-the little girl by the lake is not me-I just thought it went well with the story of my childhood memories & I she was cute, and reminded me of my awesome grand-children :-)
I"m so optimistic I'd go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me.
Hope that one got a giggle out of you? Hehe~
Be at peace with your past- do what seems possible for you to be able to look at it in a different light-Seeing With ‘New Eyes'...And always....Just Be Yourself!
…But I’d also like to leave you with these wonderful 'feel good' words from one of our great inspirational teachers….
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson. Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”